Most people probably think that the beginning of a weight loss journey is the most difficult part. The number on the scale you are standing upon is at an all-time high, nothing in your closet fits "right now" and you just feel lost. Personally, I avoided being in photos for several years and hid underneath strategic layers of clothing. My perception of what I should look and feel like was skewed; every day activities were not troublesome and my doctor said my health was in good {enough} standing. Life did not feel difficult, so really, why should I change? I went through a breakup and began a running routine as an outlet to relieve stress. Losing weight was not the primary goal; I wanted to change my lifestyle and become healthier. It has been just over two years since I took the first step in changing my life. The beginning was challenging. I needed to move a large body on a treadmill. I remember feeling devastated when a guy working out at Planet Fitness stopped me on the treadmill to tell me to walk instead of jog since my knees were at risk for injury due to the impact. I did not listen to him. I moved my large frame through boot camp classes 6x per week. I was out of breath, my heart rate became elevated very quickly and I needed to take many breaks throughout workouts. None of this mattered to me. I pushed through and kept going. Although the first few months were physically draining, the progress was amazing. Excess weight seemed to fall off of my body. Over the past two years, I went from a size XL/18+ down to a S/2-6. At the time, my goal was to wear a size 12. I believe that the sheer necessity for a new wardrobe is partially what gets beginner exercisers hooked. I looked and felt great. It served as great motivation for me to stick to my program. In addition to the outward physical changes, my body was {more importantly} changing on the inside. When you are on a cardiovascular exercise routine improvements are made in fitness and athletic performance. My body was remodeling itself rapidly and dramatically in response to the aerobic exercise. My heart was growing stronger and my lungs were changing; my body was adapting as a result of the time I was logging in the gym. I am no longer a beginner. Improvements have become more incremental and progress has slowed. I adjust my training frequently as I aim to continue to challenge my body. Without the
resistance from a challenge, we become stagnant. If you do not challenge yourself, you will not change yourself. I push myself every day. This is the part that might be more challenging than the beginning. I am getting closer every day but it is a much slower process. Sometimes that reality can be difficult to face. There are no excuses and this is my number one priority. On any journey there will be struggle; ups and downs and obstacles to overcome at any point. I believe that I will never really "be finished" in terms of my health and fitness goals. Every week, I am setting the bar a little higher and challenging myself. I am in this for life and am not looking back. “For each new morning with its light, 2012 has been my favorite year so far. I think I am finally figuring out who I am and I am loving it. I have experienced a huge amount of support and love from so many people; friends and family that live both near and far, and amazing past and present trainers that have coached me on fitness, wellness and nutrition. There has been a lot of change this year, but I have embraced it. I am just getting warmed up - even greater things will come in 2013. I hope the world is ready - I know I am!
It is Thanksgiving break, after all, so this seems like a very appropriate time to give a shout out and say thank you. I am grateful for so many things. I have everything I need; my health and happiness, a wonderful family, good friends, a job, clothes on my back and a roof over my head. I am thankful for all of the people in my life who push me every day to become a better woman. Thank you and hopefully I won't make any of you blush too much. I am so thankful for my healthy body and the amazing things it does each day. Physiologically, the systems within it operate on their own without much conscious thought on my part to their function. This is simply amazing. I sprint, row hard, climb, lift heavy weights and push tires on a daily basis. I am rough on myself every week, and usually have nothing more than some awesome callouses, scrapes, broken blood vessels and lots of bruises. My body facilitates this level of activity and never ceases to amaze me with how quickly it recovers and is ready to support the next thing I do. My family is supportive and caring, although they are far away. I am overwhelmed by the sweet comments, messages, support and genuine interest they have exhibited from another time zone. Specifically, my parents are incredible and have been extremely encouraging throughout this journey. Though there may be some aspects that I know they do not fully understand, they support and love me unconditionally. Ultimately if I am happy, they are happy. Mom and Dad: I love you both so much and am so thankful of everything you do for me. I look forward to telling you all about my training and hope you do not grow tired of hearing all about it! Hopefully you will be able to see all this in action some day! I am very fortunate to have lived in some amazing places; New York to Boston to Austin. I still keep in touch with good friends from high school and college and love catching up with them and hearing all about the wonderful things happening in their lives. So much has changed for all of us over the past few years. We have moved on from the theme parties and have found life, love, careers and even offspring. Crazy. I am in a much different place than I ever would have predicted I would be just a few short years ago. This makes me happy. Happy about how much I have grown and most of all excited about the potential and promise my future holds. Kristen and Sarah: I am thankful to have your support and love. You both help me in every way you can and are there for me in moments of both seriousness and fun. Thank you for listening to me talk about my weekly goals and training ideas. You tease me relentlessly about my meals (among many other things), but I know it's all from a good place. Thank you for always being there for me and especially for letting me know when I am being too hard on myself. The days when I get to workout with you ladies are great. You are both so receptive to my #classicTK moments. If I am in the zone, you veer away, if I need a thumbs up, you immediately provide that encouragement - and let's not forget about our dancing and "that's what she said" moments. Keeping it classy at Beyond FIT. I have had the pleasure of working with two fabulous trainers over the past year and a half. Adrian: I would like to thank you for everything you taught me. You helped get me started and I truly believe that if I had never met you, I would not be where I am right now. You helped me to realize my potential and find my passion. You believed in me from the second we first met and I am extremely grateful for that. I wanted to quit, and you didn't allow that to happen. There are so many significant milestones that we reached together and whenever I think of them it brings a smile to my face - not an easy feat! It is so nice to get to catch up now and even talk shop! Chad: You have stood by me throughout this entire process; wearing different hats at different points. We have been friends for a few years and you have watched me change in so many different ways. I admire your ambition and drive. Your work ethic is incredible and I hope to train clients as effectively as you do sometime in the very near future. I am beyond thankful for you. I am thankful for your patience when I pester you with questions about macronutrient ratios, meal timing and ways to increase my upper body strength. Thank you for pushing me when we are training and you know I need it and for reassuring me when I am having a moment of self doubt. You helped me find the fire inside of me, you lift me higher when I am down and make me strive to improve in all aspects of my life. I have so much to be thankful for; wonderful people (many of whom are not even mentioned here), health and ambition. Things are great and they just keep getting better. I am working really hard so I can achieve all that I want. I am so grateful for all of the people that have helped me make positive changes in my life over the past year and a half and push me every day. I am only looking forward - and it's all really exciting! Here are some recent including a group shot from the great day at the Warrior Dash along with a progress shot from Thanksgiving Day 2011 and Thanksgiving Day 2012 and some other recent highlights. This week has been really motivating! I am taking it in stride since I know from personal experience that there are highs and lows on any journey. The Warrior Dash was so much fun and it really inspired me to set some concrete goals with deadlines! I have set some Body Fat Percentage goals, competition goals and trainer certification goals. I am still working on solidifying my strength goals. Everything is written out, posted and visible to me every day. More importantly, I carry them in my heart every day. Feature on eatfitnation.com In addition to some good workouts, super clean eating and some great laughs with my girls while training, I received a great virtual thumbs up from an online fitness community. One of the highlights of the week was being featured on Eat Fit Nation. It is a social hub for individuals who are passionate about nutrition and fitness. Photos, transformation stories, workout tips and meals are shared. I follow them on Instagram and submitted my story to be featured a couple of months ago. It was a great feeling to see my own face and story posted. I hope it resonated with some of their other followers and I know this is just the beginning of great things for me. Make progress or excuses. Your choice. Fasted cardio workouts have made their way back into my fitness program two mornings a week. I have had great success with this method in the past and am continually pushing to make progress each week. The caffeine in a cup of black coffee before the workout not only gives a push at the early morning hour, but also helps increase my fat burning window as I continue to fast until my first meal at 12 p.m. I have also added some carbohydrates into my post-workout meals on cardio days. This means that in my third and final meal of the day, I have added about 200 calories; 50g carbohydrates of fruit into my shakes. Since insulin sensitivity is low in the evening it is harder for fat cells to absorb sugar, making the P.M. a more appropriate time to eat fruit, especially when you are working to lose body fat. I am excited to see how both of these changes to my program influence my progress. I am focused and committed. I have a burning desire to achieve my goals. No one else can want it for you. Those around you can help, push and support but it is ultimately up to you. Your desire to change must be greater than your desire to stay the same. Every day I am continuing to push myself and work hard. There are no excuses. I get results because I work hard. I keep going and strive to make it happen. It is happening!
And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time. - Libby Bray
When I reflect on the past few years, I think that people probably could have pushed me to become healthier, more active and a little braver. Nothing would have been meaningful or long-lasting unless I chose to make the change. On my own. By myself. Without reservation. Even though support and love from those around me have been fundamental to my success, I have to want this for myself. Really, really badly. As a young girl, I attended Camp Blue Bay in East Hampton and probably took the opportunity for granted. I was a good camper. I listened to my counselors and willingly participated in all activities. I did not mind cleaning duty on the job rotation and ate peanut butter sandwiches for every meal the entire week without a single complaint. Although I enjoyed the sports and activities at camp, I do not think much of the more important lessons of the experience stayed with me as I went through adolescence and became an adult. Luckily, I had the opportunity to go to camp again. At the end of October, I accompanied my fifth grade students to The Outdoor School in the Hill Country just outside of Austin in Marble Falls, TX. The overnight camp uniquely blended the opportunity for personal growth with an educational curriculum for our students. In addition, the scenery was beautiful and it provided me with a unique bonding experience with my students. Everyone should stop reading this right now. Put down your coffee, get off the internet and go to camp. Seriously. It is a magical place. There were so many life lessons that the camp educators tried to communicate with and instill upon the students. I know the fifth graders enjoyed themselves, but I do not know if they realized the value of the hidden curriculum of the camp. In many ways, they were just like me when I went to camp almost two decades ago. Scary. I am so grateful I was afforded the opportunity to go to camp again. I tried new things and pushed myself in ways I never had before. I was an active participant in all camp activities, not just a teacher chaperone. I left my inhibitions at the camp gate and dove right in, just like one of the kids. It was a truly liberating experience. I was brave. I had no fear. I swam with my students in the lake - in a bathing suit. I stood tall, and took risks. Water slides? No problem. Rope swing? Bring it! I even impressed the cute, young counselor. The proudest and most amazing experience of the week for me was climbing the rock wall. I had never done this type of activity before. I rocked that harness (not a good look), set a goal (to the top, of course), punched fear in the face and said, belay on! It was so great to hear everyone on the ground cheering for me. No one knew how significant this moment was for me other than myself and Deb. When I came down from the wall, I was very emotional. I was shaking and felt so proud of myself. I was so fortunate to be able to share this moment with her and hug it out. She has been cheering me on this journey since day one. A year ago, I never would have done any of these things. In fact, I probably would not have even agreed to go to camp. I was too scared. Too weak. I was hiding behind the person I was not ready to be yet. I am not sure exactly what the defining moment was that pushed me to make a change. I will not give anyone else the satisfaction or credit for pushing me. It was all me and I am owning it. Yes, I have help and support, but ultimately this is up to me. I took the first step, and continue to take steps every day toward my goals. I urge everyone, whether on a journey or not, to start living. Right now. Don't hold back. There is not better time than right now. Change takes time. You didn't put the weight on overnight, it is going to take time for it to come off. A pound less is still equal to a pound lost. We are constantly faced with people sharing these words with us. They are trying to comfort us, help us to see the silver lining, urge us to keep going and stay on track. I am not going to deny that all of the aforementioned statements are truthful. I am, however, going to say that I do not care for them.
When one wants something so badly and is doing everything possible to work towards achieving their goal, it can be discouraging to not see much progress. Over the past month, my progress has slowed. Nutrition and training have been consistent. The intensity of the workouts is increasing to meet the heightened endurance of everyone. I continue to increase in lifts and am feeling and seeing positive change in my body composition as a result, but the numbers are practically stagnant. After putting my additional cardio workouts on hold about a month ago, it is now time to resume them. This week I will be incorporating them back into my routine on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Performing HIIT workouts in a fasted state have provided me with great results in fat loss. I will be using the C2 Rower, ropes and weighted jump rope - in addition to body-weight exercises in the intervals. Progress is still progress. Increased cardiovascular endurance and strength gain is my proof of progress over the past month. With each week of training that passes, I am another step closer to my goal. I will reach my goal, but it just comes down to the time it takes to get there. This is not a setback. This is not an obstacle. This is something I have the power to change. I have hit plateaus in the past and it is simply time to bust through this one and never look back. Warrior Dash | Saturday 11.10.2012 This November, my friends and I will show the world what warriors we are! We are participating in the Warrior Dash, a 5K obstacle course, consisting of mud, tires, ropes, cargo nets and fire - all of my favorite things, really. I am ecstatic to be participating in this event and know it will be the first of many races and events that I participate in. This is a huge moment but I am unable to do it alone. I need your help! I will be raising money for St. Jude's Children Research Hospital. Cancer and other disease have or will affect everyone's life at some point. Perhaps it was yourself, a loved one, friend, neighbor, or just someone you know. Your gift will help the doctors and researchers at St. Jude find new treatments for cancer and other deadly diseases. Let's kick cancer's butt! It has been a rough couple of weeks. There are so many mental road blocks that I am pushing through, and that can be more draining than even the most intense workout. I am struggling with things as far as body-image goes and it is really tough to get through when feeling alone. My workout yesterday was not one of my best. I was emotional and foggy brained. From the beginning, I was not in the right frame of mind. I felt weak and defeated. I have always been tough on myself in both my personal and professional lives. In school, I experienced severe, handicapping anxiety before tests. In each job I have held, I strive to be and do the the best I possibly can, even if my heart is not in the work. In relationships, I often give so much to the other person that my needs are not met. I am giving and giving but not getting what I need in return. No matter what it is that I am doing, I want to shine. In theory, I have the support and love from family and friends, both near and far. Though I know it is there, it is not always evident through actions. For me, this is where it counts most. I don't know what it is. Are people tired of hearing about this? Are they jealous? Do they not know what to say? Maybe everyone else thinks I am really strong and confident and do not need any verbal recognition. Though I believe that I am strong and confident, sometimes I still need people to tell me I am doing a great job and that I can achieve what I want. Just a reaffirming word, gesture or shout out is all it takes. Everyone needs that from time to time.
I went through a pivotal moment on this journey a few months ago. I was no longer the person going to others for help and advice. I found my groove, and it was working. Others saw this and people started coming to me for help and advice, for that proverbial pat on the back. I was (and still am) considered to be a success; someone who lived through it. I changed my life for the better, and therefore, knew have something to offer in helping others. Though I believe this to be true and most definitely want to be in this role, it is sometimes difficult when I am still in the process of working toward my own goals. I suppose I always will be, though. Working for something more, going after a new goal, locking in a new achievement. Today I am choosing to shine. I am embracing how far I have come and looking forward to the journey that lies ahead. I will not listen to any ghosts from my past telling me that I am not good enough. I made changes for life, not just for a short period of time. I want continued results. I want to be the best I can be. I will continue to get stronger, more knowledgeable and gain more confidence. I know that with continued dedication and focus I will achieve all that I want. I have it down on my end, but just need a little thumbs up from others every now and then. |