“For each new morning with its light, 2012 has been my favorite year so far. I think I am finally figuring out who I am and I am loving it. I have experienced a huge amount of support and love from so many people; friends and family that live both near and far, and amazing past and present trainers that have coached me on fitness, wellness and nutrition. There has been a lot of change this year, but I have embraced it. I am just getting warmed up - even greater things will come in 2013. I hope the world is ready - I know I am!
It is Thanksgiving break, after all, so this seems like a very appropriate time to give a shout out and say thank you. I am grateful for so many things. I have everything I need; my health and happiness, a wonderful family, good friends, a job, clothes on my back and a roof over my head. I am thankful for all of the people in my life who push me every day to become a better woman. Thank you and hopefully I won't make any of you blush too much. I am so thankful for my healthy body and the amazing things it does each day. Physiologically, the systems within it operate on their own without much conscious thought on my part to their function. This is simply amazing. I sprint, row hard, climb, lift heavy weights and push tires on a daily basis. I am rough on myself every week, and usually have nothing more than some awesome callouses, scrapes, broken blood vessels and lots of bruises. My body facilitates this level of activity and never ceases to amaze me with how quickly it recovers and is ready to support the next thing I do. My family is supportive and caring, although they are far away. I am overwhelmed by the sweet comments, messages, support and genuine interest they have exhibited from another time zone. Specifically, my parents are incredible and have been extremely encouraging throughout this journey. Though there may be some aspects that I know they do not fully understand, they support and love me unconditionally. Ultimately if I am happy, they are happy. Mom and Dad: I love you both so much and am so thankful of everything you do for me. I look forward to telling you all about my training and hope you do not grow tired of hearing all about it! Hopefully you will be able to see all this in action some day! I am very fortunate to have lived in some amazing places; New York to Boston to Austin. I still keep in touch with good friends from high school and college and love catching up with them and hearing all about the wonderful things happening in their lives. So much has changed for all of us over the past few years. We have moved on from the theme parties and have found life, love, careers and even offspring. Crazy. I am in a much different place than I ever would have predicted I would be just a few short years ago. This makes me happy. Happy about how much I have grown and most of all excited about the potential and promise my future holds. Kristen and Sarah: I am thankful to have your support and love. You both help me in every way you can and are there for me in moments of both seriousness and fun. Thank you for listening to me talk about my weekly goals and training ideas. You tease me relentlessly about my meals (among many other things), but I know it's all from a good place. Thank you for always being there for me and especially for letting me know when I am being too hard on myself. The days when I get to workout with you ladies are great. You are both so receptive to my #classicTK moments. If I am in the zone, you veer away, if I need a thumbs up, you immediately provide that encouragement - and let's not forget about our dancing and "that's what she said" moments. Keeping it classy at Beyond FIT. I have had the pleasure of working with two fabulous trainers over the past year and a half. Adrian: I would like to thank you for everything you taught me. You helped get me started and I truly believe that if I had never met you, I would not be where I am right now. You helped me to realize my potential and find my passion. You believed in me from the second we first met and I am extremely grateful for that. I wanted to quit, and you didn't allow that to happen. There are so many significant milestones that we reached together and whenever I think of them it brings a smile to my face - not an easy feat! It is so nice to get to catch up now and even talk shop! Chad: You have stood by me throughout this entire process; wearing different hats at different points. We have been friends for a few years and you have watched me change in so many different ways. I admire your ambition and drive. Your work ethic is incredible and I hope to train clients as effectively as you do sometime in the very near future. I am beyond thankful for you. I am thankful for your patience when I pester you with questions about macronutrient ratios, meal timing and ways to increase my upper body strength. Thank you for pushing me when we are training and you know I need it and for reassuring me when I am having a moment of self doubt. You helped me find the fire inside of me, you lift me higher when I am down and make me strive to improve in all aspects of my life. I have so much to be thankful for; wonderful people (many of whom are not even mentioned here), health and ambition. Things are great and they just keep getting better. I am working really hard so I can achieve all that I want. I am so grateful for all of the people that have helped me make positive changes in my life over the past year and a half and push me every day. I am only looking forward - and it's all really exciting! Here are some recent including a group shot from the great day at the Warrior Dash along with a progress shot from Thanksgiving Day 2011 and Thanksgiving Day 2012 and some other recent highlights. This week has been really motivating! I am taking it in stride since I know from personal experience that there are highs and lows on any journey. The Warrior Dash was so much fun and it really inspired me to set some concrete goals with deadlines! I have set some Body Fat Percentage goals, competition goals and trainer certification goals. I am still working on solidifying my strength goals. Everything is written out, posted and visible to me every day. More importantly, I carry them in my heart every day. Feature on eatfitnation.com In addition to some good workouts, super clean eating and some great laughs with my girls while training, I received a great virtual thumbs up from an online fitness community. One of the highlights of the week was being featured on Eat Fit Nation. It is a social hub for individuals who are passionate about nutrition and fitness. Photos, transformation stories, workout tips and meals are shared. I follow them on Instagram and submitted my story to be featured a couple of months ago. It was a great feeling to see my own face and story posted. I hope it resonated with some of their other followers and I know this is just the beginning of great things for me. Make progress or excuses. Your choice. Fasted cardio workouts have made their way back into my fitness program two mornings a week. I have had great success with this method in the past and am continually pushing to make progress each week. The caffeine in a cup of black coffee before the workout not only gives a push at the early morning hour, but also helps increase my fat burning window as I continue to fast until my first meal at 12 p.m. I have also added some carbohydrates into my post-workout meals on cardio days. This means that in my third and final meal of the day, I have added about 200 calories; 50g carbohydrates of fruit into my shakes. Since insulin sensitivity is low in the evening it is harder for fat cells to absorb sugar, making the P.M. a more appropriate time to eat fruit, especially when you are working to lose body fat. I am excited to see how both of these changes to my program influence my progress. I am focused and committed. I have a burning desire to achieve my goals. No one else can want it for you. Those around you can help, push and support but it is ultimately up to you. Your desire to change must be greater than your desire to stay the same. Every day I am continuing to push myself and work hard. There are no excuses. I get results because I work hard. I keep going and strive to make it happen. It is happening!
And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time. - Libby Bray
When I reflect on the past few years, I think that people probably could have pushed me to become healthier, more active and a little braver. Nothing would have been meaningful or long-lasting unless I chose to make the change. On my own. By myself. Without reservation. Even though support and love from those around me have been fundamental to my success, I have to want this for myself. Really, really badly. As a young girl, I attended Camp Blue Bay in East Hampton and probably took the opportunity for granted. I was a good camper. I listened to my counselors and willingly participated in all activities. I did not mind cleaning duty on the job rotation and ate peanut butter sandwiches for every meal the entire week without a single complaint. Although I enjoyed the sports and activities at camp, I do not think much of the more important lessons of the experience stayed with me as I went through adolescence and became an adult. Luckily, I had the opportunity to go to camp again. At the end of October, I accompanied my fifth grade students to The Outdoor School in the Hill Country just outside of Austin in Marble Falls, TX. The overnight camp uniquely blended the opportunity for personal growth with an educational curriculum for our students. In addition, the scenery was beautiful and it provided me with a unique bonding experience with my students. Everyone should stop reading this right now. Put down your coffee, get off the internet and go to camp. Seriously. It is a magical place. There were so many life lessons that the camp educators tried to communicate with and instill upon the students. I know the fifth graders enjoyed themselves, but I do not know if they realized the value of the hidden curriculum of the camp. In many ways, they were just like me when I went to camp almost two decades ago. Scary. I am so grateful I was afforded the opportunity to go to camp again. I tried new things and pushed myself in ways I never had before. I was an active participant in all camp activities, not just a teacher chaperone. I left my inhibitions at the camp gate and dove right in, just like one of the kids. It was a truly liberating experience. I was brave. I had no fear. I swam with my students in the lake - in a bathing suit. I stood tall, and took risks. Water slides? No problem. Rope swing? Bring it! I even impressed the cute, young counselor. The proudest and most amazing experience of the week for me was climbing the rock wall. I had never done this type of activity before. I rocked that harness (not a good look), set a goal (to the top, of course), punched fear in the face and said, belay on! It was so great to hear everyone on the ground cheering for me. No one knew how significant this moment was for me other than myself and Deb. When I came down from the wall, I was very emotional. I was shaking and felt so proud of myself. I was so fortunate to be able to share this moment with her and hug it out. She has been cheering me on this journey since day one. A year ago, I never would have done any of these things. In fact, I probably would not have even agreed to go to camp. I was too scared. Too weak. I was hiding behind the person I was not ready to be yet. I am not sure exactly what the defining moment was that pushed me to make a change. I will not give anyone else the satisfaction or credit for pushing me. It was all me and I am owning it. Yes, I have help and support, but ultimately this is up to me. I took the first step, and continue to take steps every day toward my goals. I urge everyone, whether on a journey or not, to start living. Right now. Don't hold back. There is not better time than right now. Change takes time. You didn't put the weight on overnight, it is going to take time for it to come off. A pound less is still equal to a pound lost. We are constantly faced with people sharing these words with us. They are trying to comfort us, help us to see the silver lining, urge us to keep going and stay on track. I am not going to deny that all of the aforementioned statements are truthful. I am, however, going to say that I do not care for them.
When one wants something so badly and is doing everything possible to work towards achieving their goal, it can be discouraging to not see much progress. Over the past month, my progress has slowed. Nutrition and training have been consistent. The intensity of the workouts is increasing to meet the heightened endurance of everyone. I continue to increase in lifts and am feeling and seeing positive change in my body composition as a result, but the numbers are practically stagnant. After putting my additional cardio workouts on hold about a month ago, it is now time to resume them. This week I will be incorporating them back into my routine on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Performing HIIT workouts in a fasted state have provided me with great results in fat loss. I will be using the C2 Rower, ropes and weighted jump rope - in addition to body-weight exercises in the intervals. Progress is still progress. Increased cardiovascular endurance and strength gain is my proof of progress over the past month. With each week of training that passes, I am another step closer to my goal. I will reach my goal, but it just comes down to the time it takes to get there. This is not a setback. This is not an obstacle. This is something I have the power to change. I have hit plateaus in the past and it is simply time to bust through this one and never look back. Warrior Dash | Saturday 11.10.2012 This November, my friends and I will show the world what warriors we are! We are participating in the Warrior Dash, a 5K obstacle course, consisting of mud, tires, ropes, cargo nets and fire - all of my favorite things, really. I am ecstatic to be participating in this event and know it will be the first of many races and events that I participate in. This is a huge moment but I am unable to do it alone. I need your help! I will be raising money for St. Jude's Children Research Hospital. Cancer and other disease have or will affect everyone's life at some point. Perhaps it was yourself, a loved one, friend, neighbor, or just someone you know. Your gift will help the doctors and researchers at St. Jude find new treatments for cancer and other deadly diseases. Let's kick cancer's butt! It has been a rough couple of weeks. There are so many mental road blocks that I am pushing through, and that can be more draining than even the most intense workout. I am struggling with things as far as body-image goes and it is really tough to get through when feeling alone. My workout yesterday was not one of my best. I was emotional and foggy brained. From the beginning, I was not in the right frame of mind. I felt weak and defeated. I have always been tough on myself in both my personal and professional lives. In school, I experienced severe, handicapping anxiety before tests. In each job I have held, I strive to be and do the the best I possibly can, even if my heart is not in the work. In relationships, I often give so much to the other person that my needs are not met. I am giving and giving but not getting what I need in return. No matter what it is that I am doing, I want to shine. In theory, I have the support and love from family and friends, both near and far. Though I know it is there, it is not always evident through actions. For me, this is where it counts most. I don't know what it is. Are people tired of hearing about this? Are they jealous? Do they not know what to say? Maybe everyone else thinks I am really strong and confident and do not need any verbal recognition. Though I believe that I am strong and confident, sometimes I still need people to tell me I am doing a great job and that I can achieve what I want. Just a reaffirming word, gesture or shout out is all it takes. Everyone needs that from time to time.
I went through a pivotal moment on this journey a few months ago. I was no longer the person going to others for help and advice. I found my groove, and it was working. Others saw this and people started coming to me for help and advice, for that proverbial pat on the back. I was (and still am) considered to be a success; someone who lived through it. I changed my life for the better, and therefore, knew have something to offer in helping others. Though I believe this to be true and most definitely want to be in this role, it is sometimes difficult when I am still in the process of working toward my own goals. I suppose I always will be, though. Working for something more, going after a new goal, locking in a new achievement. Today I am choosing to shine. I am embracing how far I have come and looking forward to the journey that lies ahead. I will not listen to any ghosts from my past telling me that I am not good enough. I made changes for life, not just for a short period of time. I want continued results. I want to be the best I can be. I will continue to get stronger, more knowledgeable and gain more confidence. I know that with continued dedication and focus I will achieve all that I want. I have it down on my end, but just need a little thumbs up from others every now and then. The 300 board at Beyond FIT Each and every day we make choices. They range from trivial things to life-changing moments. Should I wear the black heels or the pink heels? Would I like some avocado in my salad? Do I move across the country for an amazing job opportunity? There is a fine line between allowing the choices we make to define us as people, or simply to serve as a decision made in time. I had a fantastic week consisting of workouts, clean eating and a lot of hard work. Training at Beyond FIT was great - with some awesome highlights, including the 300 Workout, and squats at Power FIT on Friday evening. My eating was solid and I felt amazing throughout the week; really high energy and good focus. On Wednesday, we were challenged with the 300 Workout. There were some modifications made to the workout, but overall it was really challenging and intense. We kept track of our finishing times as well as the weights/resistance used, so we have something to beat the next time we complete it. Turkish Getup during the 300 Workout Following the workout, I was treated to an amazing raw dinner at my friend Fred's house. He is an amazing person; a vegan athlete and yoga instructor, who competes in triathlons and has just returned from training to be a raw food chef. Below you will find some photos of the food from our delicious meal. It was so great to be around so many people with a common interest. It was really a cool experience to discuss the benefits and impact of eating raw vegan on one's overall health and training and their athletic performance. Fred's knowledge of preparing raw foods was impressive and he was so patient with our questions about it all. The food was delicious! There were so many layers of flavor. With some research and time, I can see how I could easily implement a diverse mix of raw foods and meals into my diet. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and passion with me, Fred! Squats - 193 lbs. Power FIT at Beyond FIT was a fantastic way to kick off the weekend! Squats, pull ups and dips were on the schedule. I increased in my squats - to 193 lbs. My lats were still feeling very sore from the 300 Workout on Wednesday. I guess 50 pullups will do that to you. Instead of doing pullups, I did rows on the TRX Suspension Trainer. As I am sure you can imagine, I was pretty discouraged by this. Instead of allowing this to defeat me, I gained an understanding for the reason behind this move. Instead of putting additional stress on the muscles that were not yet recovered, we changed up the move to target other parts of the back and bicep. I did not do anything wrong. This was not my fault. I was still heading in the right direction and just needed some additional time to recover. This may not seem like anything significant to anyone else, but I can see the value in this critical moment. A few months, or even weeks ago, I would have allowed this moment to define the workout. Instead, I took a breath and asked Chad a few questions. I was not going to move on with the workout until I had an understanding about why I was doing what I was doing. Everything must be purposeful. Everything must be done with intention. This morning (Sunday) some of the great people of Beyond FIT met at Town Lake for a trail run. This was awesome and most definitely the highlight of my weekend. The weather was gorgeous; sun was shining, nice breeze and just under 80 degrees! Lundberg and I post run! I can't really give justice in describing the feeling I had when I was running along the lake. I felt unstoppable, strong and fit. I felt like I belonged there. I was able to run several miles without stopping and wanted to do more. I definitely want to incorporate more running into my training plan and sign up for a half marathon! By no means would I say that I love running, or even enjoy it. This is something I aim to change. I will become a runner. If only I could have the same outlook in other areas of my life. As I have been on this journey, especially as of lately, I am finding it difficult to find balance in my life. Earlier today, I met up with my girlfriends, Deb and Lundberg, at the Flying Saucer. Not exactly Raw. Not exactly on my meal plan. At one point, this was my home away from home. I spent many afternoons, turned into evenings, turned into late nights at this establishment. I even have a plate hanging on the wall as a result of drinking 200 different brews. I am probably the only person in the history of this place to have lost weight so much weight while drinking their way to a plate.
After not having a drink since summer vacation, I drank two beers. I had been craving a beer for a few weeks and gave in to the temptation. In the moment, this felt great! I was being social with my girlfriends; participating in things that girls my age do on a regular basis. We joked about how I was drunk off of one beer and commented on what a cheap date I had become. Now, although I am full of regret, not to mention the weird headache and bloated feeling, I am choosing to use this moment for good. I know it was not the most productive thing I could have done. I will remember how this made me feel use that to propel my decisions in the future. The choice to have a couple of drinks does not define me. This was not a life-changing moment kind of choice. It was just one decision made in time. This does not erase my progress. This has not derailed me from achieving any of my goals. My first week of eating raw vegan is going well. I still have not really ventured into eating anything more adventurous or varied than what I had been consuming previously, but I am really enjoying it. The main reason for my lack of variety comes down to time. I am putting in long days; work, studying, workouts, and reading. I am trying to fill every possible minute with purposeful action that will help bring me closer to my goals. Perhaps the weekend will bring a bit more time to get creative with raw eating. My training has been going really well, too! On Monday, I increased in all my lifts. Deadlift - 173 lbs. and Bench Press - 70 lbs. My upper body is not as strong as my lower body, though I am getting stronger every time. At first, I was very discouraged by the inconsistency in these numbers. Now I have a better understanding that the muscles in our lower bodies are much larger than those of the upper body. I am doing a lot of pushups on my own (100 every day) and have started doing Negative Bench Press as well. On the Negative (the lowering phase of an exercise), a heavier weight is loaded onto the bar - 85 lbs., and I bring it down toward my chest as slowly as possible. Chad then lifts it back up to the starting position and I lower it down again. It is my hope that this, in addition to the daily pushups, will help increase my upper body strength so that I can increase the numbers on the Bench Press. I am also really thrilled to report that I have had another great couple of weeks are far as my measurement tracking progress goes. My current weight is 149 lbs. and my BFP is 22.0%. I have never been in such great shape. Not only am I really happy with the way my body looks right now, but I am even more thrilled to feel as fantastic as I do. Right now, I only feel motivated to work harder to achieve all that I want. Whenever people ask me what my goal is, I never really know what to say. I am weary of making anything "final", as this denotes the end. I have changed each and every aspect of my life and do not intend to go back to any version of my previous self. I am proud of the person I was and all that I have accomplished in my life so far. I know that I would not be where I am today if I wasn't willing to take a chance. I knew I could be better. In a way, it is almost bittersweet to be at this point. For over a year, I found the road ahead on my journey to be daunting. I struggled with celebrating how much I had changed (for the better!) and just how far I had come since I knew there was still a long way to go. Now, I can take solace in the fact that I am almost there. There will be more goals to set and surpass; heavier lifts, more pronounced muscles and most importantly, working with clients to help them improve their health, fitness and lifestyle. Bring it on!
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